Why?
What else is there to do?
It's not my finest, by far, but it's something.
Also, I've noticed that people will report them if they're too AWESOME. So, there's that..
I saw you today. You were outside of the antique stores downtown. We made eye contact. There was a connection.
I just so happened to be going into the same store as you for exactly the same amount of time (how weird is that?! It must be fate.), I noticed you looking at the Mickey Mouse salt and pepper shakers. I too have an intense love for depression era Walt Disney merchandise. I bought the shakers. That's why they were gone when you went back for them.. you looked confused. But when two shakers of that quality walk into your life, you don't let em go. In a way, the shakers could be like you. I want to buy you for $3.95 and keep you in my kitchen to show off to my friends. You could complete my collection.
I also just so happened to keep running into you around the store (we both like vintage linens, another coincidence!) I hope you didn't mind my casual commentary about the items you were looking at. I find that it occasionally startles people, but you were different. You were special, I think you may have even enjoyed it.
You're like a majestic tortoise on a voyage through the Caribbean, but with the vulnerability of a carrier pigeon. Or like a delicate fox searching for a succulent rabbit to feast on, but held back like a gazelle with a broken leg. You're like a cowboy.
I would love to see you again/show you my shakers/braid your gentle brown hair (they'd be manly braids.. like cornrows or something.).
So hit me up of you enjoy fine company and nostalgic kitchen ware. I'll be waiting here, next to my computer, with my cat. Please contact me.
12.10.11
20.9.11
Cats.
I had a dream last night
That I was surrounded
By thousands
And thousands
And thousands
Of cats.
They circled around me,
Dancing and singing,
Each one had on
A shiny new pair of cowboy boots.
It was beautiful.
Then I woke up
And saw a small fly
On my bedside table
Wiping its hands
Like it new all the answers
It was kind of like seeing
Your uncle cry at the end
of The Fox and the Hound.
2.9.11
Fine Art
Something Borrowed is a terrible, terrible movie, even for a chick flick. I expected a horrible plot and unrealistic relationships, but this was too painful. To top it off, it starred Kate Hudson, who is just plain obnoxious in anything.. Especially a chick flick. I know what you're thinking: "Why on earth would you watch it in the first place?" To that I respond with the ever blamable two words: Subliminal messaging. God damn movie has been heavily advertised for a while, probably to get suckers like me to spend their hard earned money on crap. But it worked, so I guess that makes me the idiot who finally gave in.
So, let me break down why you should never EVER watch this movie, so you don't make the same mistake I did.
First of all, we're immediately introduced to the cliche relationship between Rachel and Darcy (cute names, right? No.), you know the type; Darcy is the crazy attention loving party girl whose best friend is the modest and shy lawyer who lets her push her around. Blatantly obvious who you're supposed to root for, functioning protagonist/antagonist relationship.And then add Dex (really, these names are too precious), Darcy's fiance who just so happens to be Rachel's law school buddy/old crush. And of course it becomes clear that there's some sexual tension residing there. So they hook up on Rachel's birthday and feel oh so guilty the next morning when the drunkzilla calls them both 12 times.
Alright, so we have the basic "We're in love but we shouldn't be, what do we do? We can't hurt Darcy even though she's a well intentioned bitch!". Naturally they pursue their secret relationship, right? Right. If they didn't where would the plot go? So we spend about an hour seeing how that works out as the wedding approaches. Darcy's fairly oblivious to it. It keeps going in loops about their mixed feelings for each other and follows the normal dialogue presented in movies based around cheating for love. Cut this with strategically revealing flashbacks to Rachel and Dex's budding love in law school, and the mistakes they both made that lead to them landing in each other's "friend zone".
Add Ethan into this mix, somewhere. The two girls best friend since elementary school.. Except he (along with almost everyone else) hates Darcy. He soon guesses what's going on between Rachel and Dex the champion. His purpose becomes the patient best friend, listening to the surprisingly dull affair details. But, GASP, could he be so nice and patient because he's actually in love with Rachel?! No... couldn't be! Oh wait, yes. Yes it could be, he is in love with Rachel. Spoiler alert. Except, if that actually spoiled any of the movie for you after you've watched the first 30 minutes, then you are a dummy. Because that shit is obvious.
Perhaps for comedic relief, perhaps because one of the producers wanted their daughters or something to be in a movie, there's a random other friend who is in love with Ethan. There is absolutely no reason to include this character. Se has 4 lines and adds nothing to the plot, but is in almost every scene with the gang. She will be referred to as Ms. Crazypants.
Then there's Marcus, a clearly idiotic frat boy type whose relation to Dex is mildly unknown until about halfway through. He's kind of like the male equivalent of Darcy (I wonder if that's foreshadowing their eminent relationship/baby.). Oops, spoiler alert number two.
So back to the plot, which becomes increasingly dull, and pointless with all the characters that either add nothing or just get frustrated with each other. This leaves the audience dry, with nothing to follow except how many whiny love songs are played after each scene of the world's most boring affair. Not to mention that the dude who plays Dex, Colin Egglesfield, is an ultra square. Just the fact that "Egg" is actually part of his name sets his fate for failure in Hollywood. Note: this is not meant to offend any eggs out there who are reading this. If you saw the movie, you'd understand.
So finally we reach the point where the fantastic gang of 6 (Rachel, Darcy, Dex, Marcus, Ethan, and Ms. Crazypants) have been to the Hamptons enough to convince anyone out of ever seeing the place as an acceptable vacationing spot. When all their secrets become jeopardized during a "tell a secret every point you get" game of badminton on the beach. That's right, BADMINTON. Naturally, Ethan is frustrated by the fact that all Rachel does is whine and never do anything about anything, so he starts to tell Darcy what's been going down. Rachel then smacks him in the face to prevent Darcy finding out, it works. Somewhere in between we learn that Darcy cheated on Dex, however that doesn't come out to Dex.
Ethan moves to London. Rachel gives Dex an ultimatum. Marcus and Darcy hook up, and who the hell knows what Ms. Cazypants is up to. Dex chooses Darcy because his parents want him to and Rachel decides to visit Ethan in London, DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING! OH NO! FORCED DRAMA!
Upon her arrival Ethan and her apologize to eachother and it comes out that he loves her. She smiles, says nothing and flies back to New York. Mind you, that he was actually crying when he revealed he loved her, and she just smiles and leaves.
Guess who's waiting on her porch when she arrives home? You guessed it! Ms. Crazypants! Just kidding, that would give her character some means of purpose, it's Dex. He says he canceled the wedding and yada yada, they go upstairs. Darcy comes over and says she's preggers with Marcus' kid (that child will be the devil.), is about to leave when she notices Dex's coat. Awww shit. SHIT'S GOIN DOWN.
Best part of the film was Kate Hudson scream crying for about a minute. Priceless. She's gonna be the next Nicholas Cage.
Two Months Later: Rachel and Darcy bump into each other on the road. They're both happy. Whatever. End the movie with Rachel and Dex holding hands walking merrily down a New York sidewalk.
The end. (To be continued also rolls up after the credits. I swear to God if they continue this crap fest I will protest with an actual picket sign.)
So where has this landed us? Happy endings for our protagonist and antagonist. But what about Ethan, huh? What's he gonna do? HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER. Also, how about that other chick, huh? You gonna introduce Ms. Crazypants and not provide us with a conclusive ending as to why the hell she was in the movie at all? Just put up a To Be Continued? Cop out. Total cop out.
She was my favorite character, and I think you can tell that I hated her. What does that say about everyone else? Not good things, I'll tell you that.
So, in conclusion, I absolutely adored this movie and would recommend it to anyone who is a fan of fine film and captivating story lines.
So, let me break down why you should never EVER watch this movie, so you don't make the same mistake I did.
First of all, we're immediately introduced to the cliche relationship between Rachel and Darcy (cute names, right? No.), you know the type; Darcy is the crazy attention loving party girl whose best friend is the modest and shy lawyer who lets her push her around. Blatantly obvious who you're supposed to root for, functioning protagonist/antagonist relationship.And then add Dex (really, these names are too precious), Darcy's fiance who just so happens to be Rachel's law school buddy/old crush. And of course it becomes clear that there's some sexual tension residing there. So they hook up on Rachel's birthday and feel oh so guilty the next morning when the drunkzilla calls them both 12 times.
Alright, so we have the basic "We're in love but we shouldn't be, what do we do? We can't hurt Darcy even though she's a well intentioned bitch!". Naturally they pursue their secret relationship, right? Right. If they didn't where would the plot go? So we spend about an hour seeing how that works out as the wedding approaches. Darcy's fairly oblivious to it. It keeps going in loops about their mixed feelings for each other and follows the normal dialogue presented in movies based around cheating for love. Cut this with strategically revealing flashbacks to Rachel and Dex's budding love in law school, and the mistakes they both made that lead to them landing in each other's "friend zone".
Add Ethan into this mix, somewhere. The two girls best friend since elementary school.. Except he (along with almost everyone else) hates Darcy. He soon guesses what's going on between Rachel and Dex the champion. His purpose becomes the patient best friend, listening to the surprisingly dull affair details. But, GASP, could he be so nice and patient because he's actually in love with Rachel?! No... couldn't be! Oh wait, yes. Yes it could be, he is in love with Rachel. Spoiler alert. Except, if that actually spoiled any of the movie for you after you've watched the first 30 minutes, then you are a dummy. Because that shit is obvious.
Perhaps for comedic relief, perhaps because one of the producers wanted their daughters or something to be in a movie, there's a random other friend who is in love with Ethan. There is absolutely no reason to include this character. Se has 4 lines and adds nothing to the plot, but is in almost every scene with the gang. She will be referred to as Ms. Crazypants.
Then there's Marcus, a clearly idiotic frat boy type whose relation to Dex is mildly unknown until about halfway through. He's kind of like the male equivalent of Darcy (I wonder if that's foreshadowing their eminent relationship/baby.). Oops, spoiler alert number two.
So back to the plot, which becomes increasingly dull, and pointless with all the characters that either add nothing or just get frustrated with each other. This leaves the audience dry, with nothing to follow except how many whiny love songs are played after each scene of the world's most boring affair. Not to mention that the dude who plays Dex, Colin Egglesfield, is an ultra square. Just the fact that "Egg" is actually part of his name sets his fate for failure in Hollywood. Note: this is not meant to offend any eggs out there who are reading this. If you saw the movie, you'd understand.
So finally we reach the point where the fantastic gang of 6 (Rachel, Darcy, Dex, Marcus, Ethan, and Ms. Crazypants) have been to the Hamptons enough to convince anyone out of ever seeing the place as an acceptable vacationing spot. When all their secrets become jeopardized during a "tell a secret every point you get" game of badminton on the beach. That's right, BADMINTON. Naturally, Ethan is frustrated by the fact that all Rachel does is whine and never do anything about anything, so he starts to tell Darcy what's been going down. Rachel then smacks him in the face to prevent Darcy finding out, it works. Somewhere in between we learn that Darcy cheated on Dex, however that doesn't come out to Dex.
Ethan moves to London. Rachel gives Dex an ultimatum. Marcus and Darcy hook up, and who the hell knows what Ms. Cazypants is up to. Dex chooses Darcy because his parents want him to and Rachel decides to visit Ethan in London, DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING! OH NO! FORCED DRAMA!Upon her arrival Ethan and her apologize to eachother and it comes out that he loves her. She smiles, says nothing and flies back to New York. Mind you, that he was actually crying when he revealed he loved her, and she just smiles and leaves.
Guess who's waiting on her porch when she arrives home? You guessed it! Ms. Crazypants! Just kidding, that would give her character some means of purpose, it's Dex. He says he canceled the wedding and yada yada, they go upstairs. Darcy comes over and says she's preggers with Marcus' kid (that child will be the devil.), is about to leave when she notices Dex's coat. Awww shit. SHIT'S GOIN DOWN.
Best part of the film was Kate Hudson scream crying for about a minute. Priceless. She's gonna be the next Nicholas Cage.
Two Months Later: Rachel and Darcy bump into each other on the road. They're both happy. Whatever. End the movie with Rachel and Dex holding hands walking merrily down a New York sidewalk.
The end. (To be continued also rolls up after the credits. I swear to God if they continue this crap fest I will protest with an actual picket sign.)
So where has this landed us? Happy endings for our protagonist and antagonist. But what about Ethan, huh? What's he gonna do? HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER. Also, how about that other chick, huh? You gonna introduce Ms. Crazypants and not provide us with a conclusive ending as to why the hell she was in the movie at all? Just put up a To Be Continued? Cop out. Total cop out.
She was my favorite character, and I think you can tell that I hated her. What does that say about everyone else? Not good things, I'll tell you that.
So, in conclusion, I absolutely adored this movie and would recommend it to anyone who is a fan of fine film and captivating story lines.
1.6.11
Missed Connection
Oh, I've done it again. I can't help it. Why not post fake missed connections? See, there's absolutely no reason not to. I shall continue this strange pastime.
http://bellingham.craigslist.org/mis/2416045247.html
http://bellingham.craigslist.org/mis/2416045247.html
You were wearing grey cargo pants and a red flannel button up shirt, but the top four buttons were left undone. I gotta say, I admire a man who's not afraid to let his chest hair roam free. Your flip-flops were sky blue, just like your luscious eyes. I'm sure you probably didn't notice me gawking at you with your beige satchel. Another thing I love, a man who isn't afraid of some baggage.
I was wearing a maroon tracksuit and shape ups, I was on a power walk. I noticed you had one earing, pretty hot.
I like to familiarize myself with my surroundings, which is why I was carrying that large camera. Did you notice me? Unfortunately I was too busy staring at you to snap a picture. Something I deeply regret. You see, I'm an artist of sorts. I sing, dance, do interpretive theater art pieces, and paint. Which leads me to my next question: May I paint you?
I just got some great new brown acrylics and all that sexy chest hair of yours would be a wonderful opportunity for me to test them out. I usually paint topless portraits, usually I like to throw in something funky; like a large rabbit where a face would be; or several badgers lurking in the background. I like the animal theme, but I also do classics, such as the simple pearl necklace, that one is popular for many of my male clients.
So if you see this, please get back to me ASAP so I can order the materials for your painting, I was thinking maybe an homage to Cher, I've got a great wig; and also maybe some David Bowie, we'll see. Also, I've talked to my animal supplier and they've reserved a gazelle for us. I can get pigeons upon demand, but you'll have to let me know soon.
I look forward to hearing from you.
-Karen
SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY. IF YOU KNOW THIS HOTTIE, PLEASE SHOW HIM THIS POSTING. THX.
I was wearing a maroon tracksuit and shape ups, I was on a power walk. I noticed you had one earing, pretty hot.
I like to familiarize myself with my surroundings, which is why I was carrying that large camera. Did you notice me? Unfortunately I was too busy staring at you to snap a picture. Something I deeply regret. You see, I'm an artist of sorts. I sing, dance, do interpretive theater art pieces, and paint. Which leads me to my next question: May I paint you?
I just got some great new brown acrylics and all that sexy chest hair of yours would be a wonderful opportunity for me to test them out. I usually paint topless portraits, usually I like to throw in something funky; like a large rabbit where a face would be; or several badgers lurking in the background. I like the animal theme, but I also do classics, such as the simple pearl necklace, that one is popular for many of my male clients.
So if you see this, please get back to me ASAP so I can order the materials for your painting, I was thinking maybe an homage to Cher, I've got a great wig; and also maybe some David Bowie, we'll see. Also, I've talked to my animal supplier and they've reserved a gazelle for us. I can get pigeons upon demand, but you'll have to let me know soon.
I look forward to hearing from you.
-Karen
SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY. IF YOU KNOW THIS HOTTIE, PLEASE SHOW HIM THIS POSTING. THX.
16.5.11
Well, happy May 16th, 2011.
This day will only happen once, you know. Embrace it while you can, because soon- BOOM- it's gone. Gone for good; gone as that one guy who was here, then left, gone. You know the guy.. he was here, like, a while back but now he's gone, you'd know him if you saw him (but you really can't see him because, as I have previously emphasized, that dude is gone for good.). But really, what does that have to do with anything, you might ask. Well, little nuggets, it really has nothing to do with anything, just something you think about when there's nothing else to think about. Except I really should be thinking about other things, there are much more productive things I should be doing and thinking about than sitting with my laptop writing about how soon this day will be gone. But then again, that's kind of the idea in itself. I should be doing other things right now, this foggy May sixteenth, because the day will be done soon and I won't have anymore time, which brings me back to the initial argument that this day is wrapping up much to soon. Oy vey, this is getting confusing, I can't decide whether to keep pointlessly writing in circles about how little time left I have to do these things, or to actually do the things before the day's gone. I think I should do the things, then I might still have time to watch my DVD, but then again it's already kind of too late for that if I want a nice chunk of sleep tonight, and plus, what fun would that be for you, my kind, dedicated readers?
I'll let you know when I've made a decision.
.
.
.
I think.. I'll save the DVD for tomorrow, do the productive things tonight and in the meantime fill you in on what I'm doing/should be doing. Or maybe I'll rush and stress out about doing the productive things that should've been done today tomorrow, keep writing on here, and then watch my DVD. Perhaps I'll be productive while watching my DVD... that could work, and I would still have time to finish any final thought process I decide to pitifully attempt to convey on here. I mean, can't be too hard. I've written hardly anything about anything so far, and let me tell you, it's pretty damn satisfying. The best part is that maybe three people will actually read this, which just proves that I really shouldn't still be writing, I should be doing something productive/watching my DVD, but, nah.
May 16, 2011 will only happen once, you know.
This day will only happen once, you know. Embrace it while you can, because soon- BOOM- it's gone. Gone for good; gone as that one guy who was here, then left, gone. You know the guy.. he was here, like, a while back but now he's gone, you'd know him if you saw him (but you really can't see him because, as I have previously emphasized, that dude is gone for good.). But really, what does that have to do with anything, you might ask. Well, little nuggets, it really has nothing to do with anything, just something you think about when there's nothing else to think about. Except I really should be thinking about other things, there are much more productive things I should be doing and thinking about than sitting with my laptop writing about how soon this day will be gone. But then again, that's kind of the idea in itself. I should be doing other things right now, this foggy May sixteenth, because the day will be done soon and I won't have anymore time, which brings me back to the initial argument that this day is wrapping up much to soon. Oy vey, this is getting confusing, I can't decide whether to keep pointlessly writing in circles about how little time left I have to do these things, or to actually do the things before the day's gone. I think I should do the things, then I might still have time to watch my DVD, but then again it's already kind of too late for that if I want a nice chunk of sleep tonight, and plus, what fun would that be for you, my kind, dedicated readers?
I'll let you know when I've made a decision.
.
.
.
I think.. I'll save the DVD for tomorrow, do the productive things tonight and in the meantime fill you in on what I'm doing/should be doing. Or maybe I'll rush and stress out about doing the productive things that should've been done today tomorrow, keep writing on here, and then watch my DVD. Perhaps I'll be productive while watching my DVD... that could work, and I would still have time to finish any final thought process I decide to pitifully attempt to convey on here. I mean, can't be too hard. I've written hardly anything about anything so far, and let me tell you, it's pretty damn satisfying. The best part is that maybe three people will actually read this, which just proves that I really shouldn't still be writing, I should be doing something productive/watching my DVD, but, nah.
May 16, 2011 will only happen once, you know.
13.3.11
Pun
I came up with a good pun today.. I'm going to share it with you now.
What did mother Trail Mix say about her children?
I'm raisin' nuts!
Get it? Cause.. her kids are crazy.. but trail mix is made up of raisins and nuts, too... hardy har har.
What did mother Trail Mix say about her children?
I'm raisin' nuts!
Get it? Cause.. her kids are crazy.. but trail mix is made up of raisins and nuts, too... hardy har har.
Farf
Today I have finally proven that I, yes I, am smarter than Lysol. It's been a battle waging on for years and finally I have become victorious. Okay, maybe it wasn't so much as a "battle waging on for years" but there was certainly a conflict. Okay, fine, I saw a Lysol commercial and they made a mistake. I win. I noticed. That means I am better than them.
Me + Dumb Lysol commercial = no duck = me champion.
Allow me to elaborate how I have finally won the battle against Lysol. Well, in their new "Disinfecting Dual Action Wipes" products, or something like that, they feature a porcelain duck cookie jar, then they abandon it and when they return to the kitchen the duck is no where in sight. And that is just wrong. Because I noticed this, I believe it just goes to show that after years of passive jabs to each other (by "passive jabs" I mean I occasionally see their commercials and get mildly annoyed), I win against Lysol. They abandoned a duck, I will called PETA and shut them DOWN.
I WIN.
I AM BETTER THAN LYSOL!
Note: Upon reviewing their ad, I realized that the duck had been placed to the opposite side of the kitchen than originally and almost hidden by the mother... So maybe they didn't COMPLETELY abandon the duck, but they certainly abused their powers with their control of its placement. So, in that regard, I still win.. so, boom. Lysol, you went down. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXyFBhmHAK8
Also, I'm working on a letter of complaint to Lysol (informing them of their terrible mistake and how much it bothered me.), I'm ending it asking if they will send the duck to me, to live on my porcelain duck rehabilitation farm. We'll see how it goes.
Update: I completely forgot about the poor abused duck, I'm tempted to write them a letter now, voicing my anger at their treatment of the duck in one commercial that aired many months ago. i wonder how they would respond? Maybe I'll do it, or maybe I'll just wait until I forget, then see this again, then think about doing it, and then maybe do it.
Me + Dumb Lysol commercial = no duck = me champion.
Allow me to elaborate how I have finally won the battle against Lysol. Well, in their new "Disinfecting Dual Action Wipes" products, or something like that, they feature a porcelain duck cookie jar, then they abandon it and when they return to the kitchen the duck is no where in sight. And that is just wrong. Because I noticed this, I believe it just goes to show that after years of passive jabs to each other (by "passive jabs" I mean I occasionally see their commercials and get mildly annoyed), I win against Lysol. They abandoned a duck, I will called PETA and shut them DOWN.
I WIN.
I AM BETTER THAN LYSOL!
Note: Upon reviewing their ad, I realized that the duck had been placed to the opposite side of the kitchen than originally and almost hidden by the mother... So maybe they didn't COMPLETELY abandon the duck, but they certainly abused their powers with their control of its placement. So, in that regard, I still win.. so, boom. Lysol, you went down. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXyFBhmHAK8
Also, I'm working on a letter of complaint to Lysol (informing them of their terrible mistake and how much it bothered me.), I'm ending it asking if they will send the duck to me, to live on my porcelain duck rehabilitation farm. We'll see how it goes.
Update: I completely forgot about the poor abused duck, I'm tempted to write them a letter now, voicing my anger at their treatment of the duck in one commercial that aired many months ago. i wonder how they would respond? Maybe I'll do it, or maybe I'll just wait until I forget, then see this again, then think about doing it, and then maybe do it.
16.1.11
Ehh
I can't think of anything to write here. I really want to write something, though, but there aren't really any particularly appetizing subjects to write about. Hmm...
I suppose I could always continue my endless rave of my love for cats. Or perhaps I should rant about how much I detest most thing. Maybe I'll write a somewhat pointless story that doesn't quite flow. Or maybe I'll just go for a walk instead of writing something on here. Maybe I'll watch T.V. Maybe I'll make a list of my favorite movies. Then a list of my least favorite. Then a list of my favorite movies that would make any sane person's least favorite list. Or maybe I'll just write about all the things I could potentially write about. Or maybe I'll write about horses. Why horses? Because horses deserve a shout out every now and then, just to remind them that someone cares. Otherwise they forget their place in the world, they stop making plans, their faces grow long(er).. Ha.. horse anatomy joke... Anyways, horses are constantly belittled and they often don't receive the recognition they deserve, damn portrayal of horses in world media these days (or lack there of, am I right? Or am I right?).
.
.... Still, nothing to say. Why?
Oh well. Good night, world.
That sounds morose, which really wasn't what I was going for, but it'll do.
3.1.11
A little bit for ya
I like to write missed connections on Craigslist. Not because I actually missed a connection, but because I find the idea kind of funny and I figured since nobody (actually, I have a fan base of about 3, shout out to you 3! WOO!) reads my ridiculous stupidity on this bloggy thing of mine, I might as well spread the joy into the depths of cyber interaction. Now I'll usually post the links to the missed connections I write, but they expire, so here you go, an old missed connection that (surprisingly) nobody responded to:
You were trying to convince the barista to re-fill your Santa Clause mug with vanilla syrup and whip cream. She declined. It looked to me as though a single tear fell upon your beard infested face. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to cry too. I admired you courage to wear a beaded bear sweatshirt in public. You turned around quickly after the sting of whip cream rejection had faded, I could tell you were upset. You flew right by me, trying to leave as fast as you could, but your arm hit me on the way out; in fact, it was our elbows, they touched. At that moment it felt as if time had stopped, we were stuck in a perpetual connection through our fleshy, pale elbows. When you made eye contact I noticed that you eyes had a rich noir color to them, perhaps it was drugs, or a serious medical condition, regardless, it was remarkable.
I dropped my purse the instant you broke eye contact, well, one eye did. I think you have a bit of a lazy eye. My purse landed on it's side and all my stolen Activia yogurts were scattered across the floor. I'll admit, I was initially embarrassed that the world was informed about my irregularity; however, you turned around to see the mess and a smile spread across your face, under you delicate mustache. You knelt down next to me and helped me frantically stash back to the security of my Arabian moose hide purse. I was touched by the kindness. I handed you one of my yogurts (peach flavor- my favorite, maybe it's yours too?) as a token of my gratitude. I've never seen anyone eat anything that eagerly and instantly as you did in that moment. There was yogurt all over your face, coating your facial hair like a thick layer of algae on a swamp nestled in the woods behind an abandoned wood mill. It was marvelous.
If you ever want to come steal Activia with me, let me know.
P.S. I love bears.
You were trying to convince the barista to re-fill your Santa Clause mug with vanilla syrup and whip cream. She declined. It looked to me as though a single tear fell upon your beard infested face. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to cry too. I admired you courage to wear a beaded bear sweatshirt in public. You turned around quickly after the sting of whip cream rejection had faded, I could tell you were upset. You flew right by me, trying to leave as fast as you could, but your arm hit me on the way out; in fact, it was our elbows, they touched. At that moment it felt as if time had stopped, we were stuck in a perpetual connection through our fleshy, pale elbows. When you made eye contact I noticed that you eyes had a rich noir color to them, perhaps it was drugs, or a serious medical condition, regardless, it was remarkable.
I dropped my purse the instant you broke eye contact, well, one eye did. I think you have a bit of a lazy eye. My purse landed on it's side and all my stolen Activia yogurts were scattered across the floor. I'll admit, I was initially embarrassed that the world was informed about my irregularity; however, you turned around to see the mess and a smile spread across your face, under you delicate mustache. You knelt down next to me and helped me frantically stash back to the security of my Arabian moose hide purse. I was touched by the kindness. I handed you one of my yogurts (peach flavor- my favorite, maybe it's yours too?) as a token of my gratitude. I've never seen anyone eat anything that eagerly and instantly as you did in that moment. There was yogurt all over your face, coating your facial hair like a thick layer of algae on a swamp nestled in the woods behind an abandoned wood mill. It was marvelous.
If you ever want to come steal Activia with me, let me know.
P.S. I love bears.
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